The Gray Areas of Life
Freedom, joy, peace, abundance, gratitude, and wealth. All the things you want.
So what’s keeping you from having it all?
Here’ a clue…the gray areas of your life.
It’s like wearing a blindfold as you try navigating through a maze. You sort of know what’s around you but can’t find the exit. It can also mean to choose not to see the exit, even without the blindfold. There’s some weird comfort being in the maze.
Simply put; gray areas = blind spots.
The gray areas encompass a variety of coping options for us as we deal with life’s struggles. That could mean an overabundance of alcohol, food, drugs, sex, social media, people-pleasing, gaming, excessive exercise, self-pity, and even your cell phone! It could mean your relationships, your work, & your little white lies.
The gray area is anywhere in your life that you are hiding from your truth.
This muddled area can keep us stuck and confused. Maybe for you, that means secretly questioning your relationships and asking yourself why you are hiding. I get it. You haven’t been taught the proper way to handle the stress and overwhelm so it’s easier to keep doing what you do know.
We feel the ‘need’ to keep it inside to ourselves.
It’s safe there…
Or is it?
Society has done a great job of convincing us that we aren’t supposed to admit that we feel stuck or need help. So instead, we turn to the things that we believe will help us deal with the stress and overwhelm. We find the things that we “think” provide us with temporary relief when in reality causes us more pain in the long run.
This thinking can be dangerous. How do you expect to have a fulfilling life if you keep blinders on and hide your face in the sand?
Don’t turn to society to tell you how. These are the coping remedies for dealing with our gray areas, according to society:
- Prescription drugs – just pop a pill and you’ll be super chill.
- Hide your feelings- don’t you dare show your stress level! Hold it in and let it fester.
- Alcohol – the ultimate stress reliever. Just a few glasses of wine and you’re off to bliss.
- Just be happy with what you’ve got – It doesn’t matter if you hate your job and it gives you no joy whatsoever. You have a paycheck. Good enough.
- Ignore your kids or let them do whatever they want – because they won’t be your problem forever. You’re doing the best you can so they’ll be alright.
- Eat more – that always makes you feel better, right? You can start that diet on Monday when things are better.
- On the second hand, don’t eat. You will be fat and shamed. Yes, starve yourself, you’ll live. Just drink a lot of water and eat protein bars.
- Buy the fancy car, expensive watch and the big house in the burbs. Your credit is good. You can just make the minimum payments. You can worry about paying off your bills when you’re dead.
- Let the kids join every sport they want. You need them out of your hair anyways. You can always pawn them off on the neighbor for carpooling.
- Sleep it off. You deserve to be a slug.
- Social media, your escape. It helps you feel connected. Keep striving for more likes, more followers and more comments because this is how you are really measured.
- Work, work, work. It’s the only way you will get ahead in life. Gotta stay busy!
- Do it all yourself. Everything. You don’t need anyone.
- Pity yourself so others can feel sorry for you. You poor thing.
- Taking time off or having a self-care day is frowned upon. You don’t need that. You can figure out how to fit it in on the weekends.
Sound familiar? Why do we allow this to be our ‘norm’?
Listen, friend, I don’t know about you, but I lived that life, and it’s exhausting!
Here’s some truth for you to lean on:
- You aren’t falling apart because you need a little help.
- You don’t need alcohol, prescription or recreational drugs to chill out.
- We don’t need to work yourself to the grave.
- You don’t need to settle for second best or mediocrity.
- You shouldn’t hide your feelings or be afraid to speak up about your struggles.
- It doesn’t matter how many likes you have on social media!
- Your kids are your legacy. Invest in them with your time, not your resources.
- Yes, you really do deserve to have it all!
- You have the capacity & the power to decide your future.
- You have the ability to make empowering decisions that produce amazing results.
- It is possible to have ultimate peace, joy, abundance, gratitude and wealth.
And you know what else?
You don’t need to be labeled or feel broken because you’re dealing with some ‘stuff’.
No matter where you are with your gray area, you are not so far gone that you can’t figure it out. And you most certainly do not need to claim to be a label or to have a disorder. No need to say, “I am ____”. That keeps you in a victimized mentality. It’s not healthy, nor needed. (see the blog post, “The Problem with Saying I am an Alcoholic” for more information regarding this topic. It can be applied to any gray area.)
Society has it all wrong. We are told that we must fake our feelings. We must pretend that we have it all together in fear of being labeled or losing a job.
For the majority of people, it’s about looking perfect, acting perfect, having the perfect house in the perfect neighborhood, or being recognized at work. It’s about your kids getting into Harvard. This is NOT reality (well maybe your kids can get into Harvard, but you get the point).
If you feel tired, overwhelmed, and stressed out, you aren’t alone. But by listening to what society tells us, is not the answer.
It’s okay to feel your feelings.
We are meant to feel! Hiding behind a mask or wearing blinders only keeps the problems alive.
You don’t need to accept life ‘as is’. It begins with your mindset and bringing the truth into the light where it can be seen and dealt with head-on.
Learning how to process stress and your excess tension can be done. It takes courage and your admittance that you need a little help. That can mean contacting your doctor, seeing a therapist, consulting with your religious leader, or working one on one with a coach that can lead you through developing a powerful mindset.
You don’t need to be anything except joyful and free. You deserve that for yourself. Don’t be afraid to go after it. You may just need a little course correction.
** As a side note, regarding the name GrayTonic – It is the combination of the gray areas in our lives conversing with the restorative energizer of tonic. It literally means to go FROM dismal clouded confusion TO feeling renewed and strengthened by the restorative nature of tonic. If you would like guidance reaching your own version of bliss, schedule a Discovery call today.