I made a decision ten years ago that would change everything for me. But it wasn’t exactly easy for me at the time.
I was scared out of my mind what others would think. Scared I’d be an outcast in social settings. Scared that I’d be labeled. Yet, I just knew I was just done.
I was done negotiating with myself, done waking up with that familiar dread, done pretending I was fine, done being someone I didn’t fully recognize anymore.
That was ten years ago.
Now before I continue, let me say this first. I’m not that special. There are MANY in this same space where I was back then. Most of my fears was about what I was giving up. And can I tell ya, almost none of them turned out to be true! They were just stories in my head.
What I Was Afraid Of, aka, My FEARS
I thought I’d lose my social life.
I was convinced that alcohol was the glue holding my social world together. That people invited me places because I was fun, and fun meant drinking. That sober Kari would be someone people stopped calling. That wasn’t true. What I actually discovered was that the friendships built on drinking weren’t the ones that lasted anyway. The real ones did. And I built new ones with people who didn’t need a glass in their hand to connect.
I thought it would be boring.
This one makes me laugh now! My life since quitting has been more full than anything I experienced in the years before it. The podcast. The coaching. The marriage Rob and I have rebuilt and deepened. The trips, the client retreats, the conversations, the work that actually means something. None of that happened while I was drinking. All of it happened after.
I thought I’d feel like an outsider everywhere I went.
This was my biggest fear. Standing at a dinner party with a glass of sparkling water while everyone else had wine. Feeling like the odd one out. Explaining myself. Watching people do that thing where they get uncomfortable because you’re not drinking and suddenly they feel like they have to justify themselves to you. (still happens, btw!)
Let me share what’s really happening. That world is changing. Dramatically. And if you’re on the fence about this in 2026, you are stepping into a very different landscape than the one I walked into ten years ago.
Ten years ago, asking for a mocktail at a restaurant got you a confused look and a maybe a Diet Coke. Today it gets you something thoughtful, beautifully made, and listed on the menu. The world is catching on!
The Tide Has Turned
Just this weekend I was at a work event with Rob, the kind of corporate evening where alcohol used to be the only option. And there were choices! Two different NA beers, fancy sparkling water, options to make a fun mocktail. Not just soda and water.
And on my actual ten-year anniversary, Rob and I went to dinner and I ordered a mocktail. During the day, I had lunch with a former client (who also celebrated a big anniversary – 5 yrs alcohol-free!) and we both orderd a super fun apertif that was also sans alcohol. Both were genuinely impressive, thoughtful and high-end. The kind of thing a bartender is proud of making.
That would NOT have happened ten years ago. Not even close.
The non-alcoholic beverage market has grown by over 30 percent in the last few years. Major brands are launching alcohol-free lines. Restaurants are hiring actual mixologists to build mocktail menus. Dry January participation has grown every year since it started. And Gen Z is drinking significantly less than any generation before them. The cultural momentum has shifted!
More people are choosing not to drink than ever before. And more importantly, nobody raises an eyebrow anymore. It’s not weird. It’s not something you have to explain or defend. It’s just a choice, like any other. Can we get an big AMEN, please?
If You’re Still On the Fence
I want to speak directly to anyone who has been thinking about this but holding back because of one of the fears I listed above. (Or some version of them.)
The fear that you’ll miss out. That life will shrink. That you’ll be the awkward one in the room who can’t relax. That it’s too hard or too weird or too big a thing to do.
Here’s what I know after ten years. You don’t lose your life when you quit drinking. You find it. And the world you’re stepping into right now is more ready to meet you there than it has ever been.
There has never been a better time to make this decision. The options are better. The culture is shifting. The conversations are happening. And the version of yourself waiting on the other side of this is more interesting, more present, and more free than the one who needs a drink to get comfortable.
I’m not saying it’s easy. I’m saying it’s worth it. And I’m saying that most of what you’re afraid of giving up isn’t what you actually think it is… as a matter of fact, it’s everything you’re gaining!
This Week on Beyond the Gray
Episode 27 is a conversation I’ve been having for years with clients. It’s not about the anniversary or the culture shift. It’s about something deeper: what happens when you remove a habit but don’t build anything in its place. Why you can quit one thing and still feel empty. And the two questions that will change how you look at your entire life right now. Keep an eye on your inbox Tuesday morning.
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Final Thoughts
Ten years ago I was scared. I didn’t know who I’d be without it. I didn’t know what I was building toward. I just knew I couldn’t keep going the way I was going.
What I built in place of it is everything you see here. And I wouldn’t trade a single day of it! It’s not about losing anything. It’s about what you’re gaining.
If something in this is stirring in you, please don’t let this moment pass. It’s officially your sign.
Here’s to living beyond the gray,
Kari
