Let’s talk about the ONE thing that absolutely needs to happen in order for change to stick.
You can’t become someone new while clinging to who you’ve always been.
This is the moment in the DECIDE Method where everything changes. It’s not just about desire. It’s not just about your why. It’s about identity.
Your Tonic for the Week
An identity shift is more than adopting new habits. It’s about becoming the person you want to be now — before the evidence shows up.
That means:
- Believing you are the kind of person who chooses health before the pounds are gone.
- Living like you’re a present, connected spouse before the marriage feels easy.
- Acting as if you’re already free from drinking, even if you’re only on day one.
This isn’t pretending. It’s aligning. It’s choosing to embody your future self before your current circumstances catch up.
Here’s the danger if you skip this step: you’ll always see yourself as “trying” instead of being. And “trying” keeps you in limbo. Being anchors you in possibility.
I know this firsthand. For years, I told myself I was just a wine lover. It was my “rebellious spirit” lingering from childhood. I told myself I was a victim to my difficult circumstances. And I wore that badge well… for decades!
It wasn’t until I shifted that story did my life begin to drastically change. Once I began to see myself as a clear-minded, present leader (and someone who didn’t need alcohol to cope!), everything changed. The same was true in my marriage. When I stopped seeing myself as stuck and started acting as a woman capable of creating real connection with Rob, the relationship began to heal.
If I can do it, so can you!
Your Next Move
Take 10 minutes today and ask:
If I were already the person I want to become, how would I show up today?
Then do one thing that lines up with that answer. Not tomorrow. Not when it’s convenient. Today.
And when you have your one thing, your next step is to write out your new IDENTITY STATEMENT. Read it daily. Display it everywhere so it reinforces the belief.
What I’m Loving
- Words that stick: “You don’t rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems — and your systems flow from your identity.” (James Clear)
- Visualization practice: Seeing AND journaling in present tense: “I am the kind of person who…”
- Micro-shifts: Small actions that prove to yourself you already are who you say you want to be.
Your old identity is always waiting to pull you back. But the moment you decide to live as your future self, RIGHT NOW, is the moment everything shifts.
Next week, we’ll talk about the “D” in the DECIDE Method: Daily Habits — the proof of your new identity, built one action at a time. I can’t wait to share something special with you, so stick with me!
And if you’re so brave to share your new identity statement with me, hit reply and let me know so I can encourage you further with a personalized note.
Here’s to becoming your best version now!
