Are you a people pleaser?? Let’s talk about your boundaries.
Have you said this would be the last time you say ‘yes’ to something you don’t really want to do… So, why are you doing it?
Are you afraid to say no?
Do you feel guilty for having time to yourself?
Are you saying, “well, no one else will do it, so I might as well?”
I get it, I feel that way too. We are people pleasers, hard workers, needing validation and fear of not being accepted.
This is a big issue! Saying no IS hard, especially when it feels like your “excuse” or reason is a selfish one.
The Art of Setting Boundaries
Truth is, friend, it’s not selfish to be mindful of how and where you spend your time and energy. It’s not selfish to set boundaries with people and situations that are not meaningful to you.
Boundaries are healthy. They are the way to honor yourself, where you choose to only do the things that bring you joy, and be with people who love and respect you – just as much as your boundaries.
Let’s keep diggin’ here, because you’ve created boundaries, you are just having a hard time using them.
So…. What’s really going on?
It comes down to this. You’ve handled these situations and relationships the same way in the past. It’s what you “know” will work, it’s what you’ve always done, how you’ve always responded, because, well it’s always worked… until now.
And now you’re feeling burnt out, frustrated, exhausted, anxious, overwhelmed, etc.
Would you like something to be different about that?
What would you like instead?
On a scale of 1-10 how confident are you in your current boundaries?
How can we get that to 10?
Here is what you can do to move forward.
It’s a simple, small step you can take today!
Honor your word! By honoring your word, actually applying your boundaries, you begin to build self trust and self respect.
Examples of clear boundaries
✔️ Say no – to tasks you don’t want to do or have time to do – your best time management tool!
✔️ Ask for space – and help
✔️ Get clear on your needs – make time to put YOU first
✔️ Offer to meet friends at a coffee shop instead of a bar
✔️ Host dinner parties where you feel in control of what’s being served
✔️ Set phone on airplane during work blocks, meals and at bedtime
✔️ Unfollow social media accounts that don’t serve you
✔️ Drop the guilt and responsibility for others – YOU come first
And here is another awesome tip to keep your word → Get an accountability partner.
When you set boundaries, share them with someone who will hold you accountable to those. Enroll others to help you stick up for yourself – the buddy system!
Whether you’ve created new boundaries or already have some, let’s step back and put them into play! Notice the results of your healthy boundaries.
Now how you feel.
Notice what happens to your self-esteem.
Give yourself praise and acknowledgement when you say NO.
Honor your word and stay committed to yourself. Afterall, you are the ultimate prize.
If you’d like support in setting boundaries, schedule a Discovery Call with me today.